We stormed Novosvetlovka on the 13th of August, two days later I turned 18 years old - Alina Demchenko
Новосветловку мы штурмовали 13 августа, через два дня мне исполнилось 18 лет — Алина Демченко. Она бросила...
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She abandoned her studies and dreams about acting career to meet her adulthood under the MRLS fire. Today she is studying to become theatre director, she attends her university session coming straight from the frontlines. Alina Demchenko, a press-officer of the 28th Knights of the Winter Campaign Separate Mechanized Brigade, told the project “Povernis Szhivim” about her choice to defend the country, sixth year at the frontlines and the dream of opening a theatre.
The Revolution of Dignity became the starting point. There I realized: if you do not protect your rights and your country, no one will do it for you. Maidan for me was the epicentre of common sense and there was nothing more important for me than being out there.
“THERE WAS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING OUT THERE.”
I studied at the college of theatre and cinema. At first I came to Maidan as a passive observer. However, in January 2014, when the events on the Grushevsky Street began to heat up, I stayed there to take part in the protest. During that time, I was coming home only to wash myself, then I abandoned college.
Maybe I was naïve that time. I simply couldn’t except how government could exercise violence against populace without any reason and get away with it. I was led by my inner sense of justice.
In May russian diversion teams with the help of collaborators captured Slovyansk, the Maidan self-defence started to organize volunteer groups. They did not tell anyone much where and why they were going. However, I pleaded to take me and 3 other girls with them. This way four of us entered “Aydar” battalion. That time I was 17 years old so I lied that my id got burned during the Maidan to get into the battalion. So you can say that until August 2014 I served illegally if there was any legality with volunteer troops to begin with.
Why you ask? Probably because I was brought up with this sense of civic duty for my country since childhood, I guess. People don’t believe me when I tell them about my motivation, but I always knew that if there was a war in my country, I would definitely be out there. Therefore, when it all started, I knew where I should be.
“MOM, I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, BUT I AM VERY FAR AWAY RIGHT NOW.”
My mother was awestruck. She assumed that I just attend Maidan from time to time simply to observe. In a complete contrast now I’m calling her from Lugansk region where we arrived in May. I didn’t even know where I was exactly. So imagine this, I’m sitting in some forest belt while in a sleeping bag and saying:
- “Mom, I don’t know how to explain it to you, but I am very far away right now.”
- “What happened?”
- “I am currently in the Lugansk region, I entered a volunteer battalion, I don’t really have any time to explain in detail.”
I didn’t know how to explain the situation to her. You see, the relations in our family are quite conservative. I thought that if I started to explain her about the sense of duty, she would say: “Alina, you’ve lost your mind, you’re 17 years old, you should study not go on some crazy venture.” I called her once every 5 days and said that I was fine, she demanded an explanation, and when the battalion was somewhat officially created, I said:
- “Mom, I'm in the army.”
- “You are out of you mind!”
- “And that is final, I'm a soldier now.”
I can’t even imagine what she went through during that period.
I don’t really think that there are male or female professions. When you have able body, a steady mind and a fiery heart, you can do anything. Even more so, some things are even easier for women to pull through than they are for men.
“I JUST TRIED TO BE USEFUL. ALSO I HANDLED MY RIFLE PRETTY WELL.”
I was issued a rifle and taught thoroughly how to use it. I just tried to be helpful. Also I handled my rifle pretty well.
Women usually were registered for non-combat positions like secretaries, accountants. At first there was no strict distribution of duties in the battalion anyway, but most women still weren’t allowed to enter combat. During that time there was word going about the start of operation but I unfortunately I missed the Schcastye offensive. By that time, I knew that it was useless to ask the commanders to deploy me in combat.
When the "Novosvetlovka-Khryaschevatoe" operation went on in August, I just got on the bus with the group and went on the operation. This was my first combat experience. Our task was to storm these settlements, clean them from any enemy presence, gain a foothold and wait for the army to show up.
“HAIR WAVING IN THE WIND WHILE I’M RIDING ON THE BMP, EVERYONE OPENING FIRE.”
At the crossroads beyond Georgievka we were divided into two groups. One went to Khryaschevatoe, and we went to Novosvetlovka. I did not fully understand what was happening. We switched from GAZ-66 to BMP. We drove in blindly like some kamikaze. It went something like this: my hair was waving in the wind while I’m riding on the BMP, everyone opening fire. Someone ordered to dismount the BMP even though we were still on the move. When I jumped off, I injured my leg a bit. This way I was more concerned about the leg than the military operation itself.
After the dismount we entered the outskirts of the village and we were immediately shelled by “Grad”. We hid under some small bridge. I asked guys what to do in this scenario? They said: "Lie silently and cover your head with your hands." So I did.
“WHAT IF MY FOOT GETS BLOWN OFF INTO THIS SUNFLOWER FIELD. WILL I BE ABLE TO LIVE AS A CRIPPLE?”
MLRS rockets were landing in a sort of checkerboard pattern. The earth was shaking, and I heard explosions approaching. It was like Hell broke loose. There was a sunflower field nearby and suddenly a weird yet logical thought occurred: "What if my foot gets blown off into the sunflower field. Will I be able to live as a cripple?" No, I did not think that I’ll die that day, instead I was really afraid of being disabled. The shelling was short because apparently they shoot only half of the “Grads” load. We got lucky, I guess. In the village itself we did not meet any strong resistance. The terrorist occupied only one building, either a school or a cultural centre. After a short firefight we captured this building, took a couple of POWs.
We entered the village on August 13, and two days later I came of age. I recall we went into some house to pack our things, shortly after we got shelled by automatic grenade launcher. In case with “Grad” you know that the enemy is far away, but AGS-17 means that the enemy infantry is quite close. It means that there’s some bastard nearby who aims precisely at you while reloading the “snail”. In times like this you can nothing but think: “Ah, you mother@@ker!”
I sat down by the house wall, everything around was exploding and I thought: “God, in only two days I’ll turn 18. But will I be able to or will I die a minor? I had a bit of panic back there, fortunately comrades supported me then.
Later I took things more calmly. I even learned to sleep under shelling and so on. However, I finally understood that war is not fun and games at all. So the day I came of age I had a simple choice: either go home or stay with the battalion. And I decided to sign a contract. I thought that there are very few people who celebrated their adulthood in such a way. I was very proud of my choice and never ever regretted it.
We dug in Novosvetlovka, made a checkpoint. Artillery bombarded us all night so we spent the night in the basement. The next day we began to establish supply routes. We were there for about 10 days, and on August 23-24 we received an order to leave, the army left some time later.
“I KNEW THAT THERE IS AN ENEMY AND THERE IS MY RIFLE AND THAT THE ORDER MUST BE EXECUTED”
I can’t say that I’m some tier 0 killing machine, but I was able to carry out my orders. I knew that there is an enemy and there is my rifle and that the order must be executed.
We were all really anticipating the order to advance in Lugansk, we should have started the offensive pretty soon according to rumours. We were just 8 km from it. I persuaded myself that I will definitely take part in the offensive. I dreamed of putting the Ukrainian flag over Lugansk. However, the fate decided otherwise.
Subsequently, we returned to the base in Polovinkino, I was transferred to another company in Trekhizbenka. There, at the bridge towards Slavyanoserbsk, we had a checkpoint. In the autumn, the military action mostly ceased in our sector and we occupied this checkpoint for some time.
There were occasional clashes, but there was no heavy artillery shelling, mostly mortars. On the other hand, small arms firefights were a routine. In May 2015, a friend of mine died in Zolotoe. I met him during Maidan, he was from the "Yastruby" - a kind of quick response group. The guys solved various conflict situations during Maidan. In summer he entered Aydar too, he turned out to be a pretty interesting guy. We quickly became friends: listened to music to music together, read books. Kind of a platonic relationship. I grew close to him and he supported me many times. In 2015, I went to Trekhizbenka and he went to Zolotoye. We were out of touch for several days, and then I was told that he died.
“I LOST FRIENDS BEFORE, BUT WHEN HE DIED EVERITHING SUDDENLY CHANGED.”
I lost friends before, but when he died everything suddenly changed. The strange thing was I didn’t shed even a single tear. We haven’t had a steady burial procedure then. We had to get everything necessary by ourselves.
“ONE SECOND I LOOKED AT THE CROWD AND THE NEXT THING I REMEMBER DPOPPING MY RADIO AND FALLING IN THE BACK OF THE CAR.”
I pulled myself together because I knew there was a lot of work to be done. We went to the morgue in Kyiv on the next day and there I saw his embalmed body. I was in shock, though conscious still. When we brought his body to Maidan in order to say final farewells many people gathered. I got out of the car, one second I’m looking at the crowd and the next thing I remember is dropping my radio and falling in the back of the car. I fell unconscious. I kept it together before, but there I just couldn’t bare it.
After that I took some time off and went on vacation, visited his parents, but upon my return I completely changed, I burned out. I perceived everything apathetically, but I still done what needed to be done and carried out my duties. Any major actions in the Luhansk region completely came to halt. In 2017, I felt that "Aydar" wasn’t a place for me anymore so I transferred to the reconnaissance company of the 92nd SMB.
“THEY LOOKED AT ME AND LAUGHED, SAID: WE WERE NOT EXPECTING FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU HERE AND WE HAVE NO USE FOR YOU."
These guys already were for some time on the frontlines. On our first encounter they looked at me and laughed, said: “We were not expecting someone like you here and we have no use for you”. However, I replied: “Yeah, that’s not goanna fly, it's too late for this line already, I serve in your unit now." Of course they were wary of me at first and were reluctant in trusting me with anything of importance, but eventually I became a part of the team.
We were deployed in Krasnogorovka then; I was one of the people who helped with intel analysis. I wasn’t into headquarters work of any kind. I thought that it was being pushed on me simply because I am a woman. But I came to help, besides things got much more serious in the recognisance platoon so I carried out my part.
Subsequently, they began to take me with them to watch posts, drone launch sites and the like. However, they never took on any of the actual missions, since “a woman aboard brings ill luck” as they say. Kind of hated them for this. During the second rotation I became the part of the family. And I calmed down already, because when they didn’t take me with them no matter what, I just simply wanted to prove that I could be a worthy soldier. But then I thought that I had already proved that to myself plenty and there was a limit to how far I can go. Since then I simply did anything to be of use.
I served with the platoon a little less than a year and in June 2018 I wanted a change of scenery so I transferred to the 28th. They have their PPD in Odessa.
“5 YEARS IN A WAR AND THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE WHO ARE OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING AT ALL.”
The brigade commander offered me the post of press officer and I agreed. Mostly because I think that the informational component is one of the most important in the hybrid warfare. I mean we are already 5 years ina war and there are still people out there who are oblivious to what is happening at all.
I have a groupmate at the university, he is about forty, has his own enterprise, just came to study for director likw me. One day he was giving me a lift and said:
- “So, do you serve?”
- “Yes, I do.”
I answered.
- “Well then, explain to me what is happening out there, who is fighting who there, what are you doing on the frontlines? These separatists, they really are separatists or what?”
I simply was at loss of words. This truly is our loss as state. We have already lost the information war. Our people shouldn’t even have such questions. They should already know who’s who, where, how and what for. And we must show it to them.
I am a third year student at the University of Culture and Arts. My dream is to open my own theatre, but this is all to do after the war.
“IN THE ARMY I UNDERSTOOD THAT I’M NOT ALWAYS COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ORDERED AROUND”
I always wanted to work in the theatre. I studied for an actress in college, but in the army I realized that I was not always comfortable when I was being ordered around. So I decided to study for a director instead. A good director has a lot of authority, and he can have great results when he uses it properly.