Funny JOTD (Joke of the day)

airborne

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Moderator note: Thread’s title was edited so to have a broader “Joke” thread.

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Kristian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'.

Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark..

Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely.

All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.

Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.

(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).

Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal.

'Where's Kristian?' he asked.

'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark', came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Kristian's abode.

As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'

Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'

Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'..........

(You're going to love this...............................)

~

~

~
~

"I've found Cod;

I'm a Prawn again, Kristian"
 
OUCH!!!!!!
 
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You're right!! That joke sucks so well!!!!
 
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"What happened?" the girl asked.
He replied, "My father couldn't stand her!"
 
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I just love Calvin and Hobbes and the below strip is not an original from Bill Watterson but it almost had me breaking down ??








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Nurse: "Nah, graveyards give me the creeps"
 
Hi Seamus, this is Paddy next door. I've a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you face to face. At least I'm telling you in this text. I can't live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this.

The truth is, when you're not around I've been sharing your wife, day and night. Probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and hope that you will accept my sincere apology and forgive me.

Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.





NEIGHBOURS RESPONSE:

Seamus, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Paddy dead. He returned home, shot his wife, and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Seamus then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Paddy.



Hi Seamus, Paddy here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "Wi-fi" to Wife" Technology huh?



It'll be the death of us all!!!
 
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