Funny The cutting edge.

Derrick Stephenson

MI.Net Member
Feb 7, 2004
A know-all D.I.Y. enthusiast is visiting his local garden centre with his girlfriend, and enquires about a saw capable of cutting down, then chopping up, several trees in his garden. His one stipulation is that the work must be completed in one week-end.
The assistant shows him a chainsaw, saying, 'This model is top of the range, Sir, guaranteed to cut through any diameter of tree up to 20% faster than it's nearest rival. Would you like a demonstration?'
Not wanting his girlfriend to think there was something he didn't know about, he said it wasn't necessary, and he wished to buy the implement.
Next day, he's back, carrying the chainsaw, and demanding his money back. 'Bl**dy useless, I tried it out when I got home and it took me 5 hours to cut through one branch on the smallest tree in my garden.'
The assistant takes the chainsaw to check the problem, pulls the cord and the saw starts first time.
'What's that noise?', says Mr. D.I.Y.