- Joined
- Mar 20, 2004
- Messages
- 43
- Points
- 18
Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn!, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn
upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....) >
On one brand of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other
use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh..fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the
parents for this One.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn!, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn
upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....) >
On one brand of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other
use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh..fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the
parents for this One.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
