- Joined
- Mar 31, 2004
- Messages
- 121
- Points
- 28
>Beer.....
>
>Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
>Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
>brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this
>beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
>I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true
>than be selfish and worry about my liver."
>...Babe Ruth
>
>
>An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
>his fools.
>...Ernest Hemingway
>
>
>When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
>...Paul Hornung
>
>
>24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
>...H.L. Mencken
>
>
>When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
>When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we
>go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
>...George Bernard Shaw
>
>
>Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
>...Benjamin Franklin
>
>
>Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
>is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
>but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
>...Dave Barry
>
>
>BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.
>...W.C. Fields
>
>
>Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
>...Professor Irwin Corey
>
>
>To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in
>a can!
>...Leo Durocher
>
>
>One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory"
>to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of
>buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the
>herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
>are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a
>whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group
>keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In
>much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
>slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
>brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
>cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
>weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
>machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
>
>
>Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
>Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
>brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this
>beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
>I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true
>than be selfish and worry about my liver."
>...Babe Ruth
>
>
>An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
>his fools.
>...Ernest Hemingway
>
>
>When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
>...Paul Hornung
>
>
>24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
>...H.L. Mencken
>
>
>When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
>When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we
>go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
>...George Bernard Shaw
>
>
>Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
>...Benjamin Franklin
>
>
>Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
>is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
>but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
>...Dave Barry
>
>
>BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.
>...W.C. Fields
>
>
>Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
>...Professor Irwin Corey
>
>
>To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in
>a can!
>...Leo Durocher
>
>
>One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory"
>to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of
>buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the
>herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
>are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a
>whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group
>keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In
>much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
>slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
>brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
>cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
>weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
>machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
>
